Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What are some tips for making your husband fall madly in love with you again after going through the worst phase of your marriage?

I can count

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand how hurricane paths work

The Surprising Way Five Days Of Junk Food Impacts Your Brain - MindBodyGreen

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

What are your funniest "lost in translation" moments if you grew up speaking more than one language?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Here’s where to get free doughnuts on National Donut Day 2025 - Fortune

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

HBO and CNN owner Warner Bros Discovery to split in two - BBC

I see through liars

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

What's your take on Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind? How has it affected you?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t cotton to rapists

All international travelers should get measles vaccine, CDC says - OregonLive.com

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

What is your language's pangram?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

ChatGPT future just revealed — get ready for a ‘super assistant’ - Tom's Guide

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

65 Extremely Rare Historical Pictures That Will Completely And Totally Change Your Perspective On The Universe - BuzzFeed

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

Review of American Airlines' Flagship Suite Preferred on the inaugural flight - The Points Guy

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Why do many women wear sleeveless shirts, more so than men?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

Season ends for Husker baseball with historic loss to Oklahoma - KETV

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I have complete contempt for fakery

UN calls for investigation into killings near Gaza aid site - BBC

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I have a reading level above third grade

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t watch or listen to advertising